VENT!!! If you don't want to hear me complain than don't read this post, just warning you now.
This move to St. Louis has been the worst decision of my life. It's very hard for me to focus on anything good that has come from this when all I feel I have lost is much more vivid. I moved out of a house that I loved, left my best friends behind and a place I called home for 9 yrs. I left a pediatrician that I loved and my kids loved, an OBGYN that delivered both my babies and helped me get pregnant in the first place. I left my hairdresser, my grocery store that doubled and stacked my coupons. I left roads that were familiar and faces I knew. Moved to a place where everyone was a stranger, into a house that I HATE, (thank goodness it's a rental) and to a job (for Jeff) that turned out to be a disaster. Had to find new doctors that I'm not so sure about and to a grocery store that doesn't double coupons. I left friendly neighbors that I would chat with and watch their kids to a neighborhood that I don't fit in with because I don't sip margarita's outside in the summer watching the kids play.
5 months after moving here Jeff was part of a company wide lay-off that has left him unemployed sense Sept. 2010.I honestly thought once he added MBA to his resume employers would be knocking down the door to hire him. That hasn't exactly been the case. If he were a black or Hispanic male he would have a job by now. Actually, he probably never would have been laid off to begin with. I'm not racist, just stating the facts. How much longer is this going to go on? It's already been longer than I thought.
These past several months have been hard. Very hard. I do my best to put on a happy, because that's what people want to see, but for about 2 months I hardly got out of bed. I totally checked out. I was more than happy not to talk to anybody, not to leave the house for days and when it came to socializing you can forget it. It's A LOT of work to act happy and everything is great when you feel so terrible.
So here I sit in a sucky situation in a town that is still foreign to me. You would be pissed too.
5 comments:
Oh Mon! my heart brakes for you I think you have every right to be pissed. I wish I was closer Ii would come over with my diet coke and snacks if nothing else we could laugh ate each other or cry together. I love you guys so much give your self a big hug from me
I feel for you Monica. I kind of understand what you're going through. I'm still pissed off at all my friends who have left here. Friends are hard to replace, and I'm not having much luck doing that. I don't have any words of help, but just know that I feel for your pain and struggles, and I miss you.
Other then the job situation, I know how you feel. You're in a foreign town, I'm in a foreign country! haha I had a hard time with this move, I still miss Rexburg b/c it's what I had known for the last 4 years. I had friends there, loved my apartment, loved my job, stuff was cheap there, and it was where I met my husband so of course it will hold a special place in my heart.
I moved to another country, everything is ridiculously expensive (we only buy chicken when it's on sale...sale being 3lbs for $18 when it's originally $35...yes, ridiculous. Don't even get me started on the cost of other things!). Things are listed in grams and kilograms, I drive in KPH, the healthcare plan and how things work are so confusing to me, I totally feel like I'm in the dark w/everything that is going on here. I can't tell you how many times I've broken down to Paul b/c I miss my friends and I don't know anyone here (yes we have family literally around the corner, but I'm sure you can agree, sometimes you want friends and get away from your family!)
The things that have helped me is prayer. We prayed before we even made this move so we knew that it was the right decision for us right now. I miss the comfort of my old home all the time, I miss the comfort of being in America! It's taken a while (heck, a year and then some) but I'm slowly coming around and beginning to enjoy and appreciate being here. Yes, life isn't as "perfect" as I think it would have been had we of never moved, but it's not too bad! I've got a little family who loves me and I love them...I mean heck, how could you not love Adelaide?! But I just had to come to the realization that in 2/3 years we are probably going to be moving yet again for Paul's school, and then again after that for a new job...and who knows how many times after that!
Things will turn around. And if you feel left out not drinking your margaritas in the summertime, you've got a blender- make yourself a mocktail and join right in! haha I love you Monica!! And remember- "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it." (quoted from my mom's Jesus picture) This is just a hard and trying time for you right now, but you can pull through!!
I'm sorry Monica. I guess I haven't been a very good friend, or visiting teacher. I didn't know you were having this hard of a time.
We should hang out more.
I feel your pain Monica. Our move to Washington has been really hard too. We've been here for 8months now and I'm trying to be postitive but feeling like it is somewhat hopeless. I'm not sure that I will ever have the kind of friends here that I had in Kentucky. Moving is hard!!!
I just keep telling myself that the Lord hasn't forgotten me and my family and this is a time for growth and character building. It helps me to think that something positive will come out of it in the end even if it is that we tough through it and we are stronger because of it.
I'm thinking of you. You are not alone my friend.
Post a Comment